Called to Communicate

There have been many books written on calling, and many people have very different points of view on how to discern your calling and how to hear from the Lord. Saying such as: "Think about what in the world makes you the most angry - that's where you're called." Or "Don't know where God is calling you? You're already there. Keep going."

I definitely can't say I know the formula on how to know where God's calling you, but I do have confidence in where God is calling Dan and I. I also have confidence that our calling is not only something that will happen in the future. Presently, he's calling me to the kids and my co-workers in our church's child care center, and he's calling Dan to the people he sees each day. He's also currently calling us to our Equip training with Wycliffe. At Equip, we will be trained in how to begin our Partnership Development, and once Equip is over we will be called to our partners. We will continue to be called to our current work places and the people we interact with there as well.

I have a lot of insecurities, and just because I'm confident in God's calling doesn't mean that they've disappeared. I realize I'm not alone in this, but really, it's a daily struggle. Although there are multiple things I'm insecure about, one of my greatest insecurities is speaking. When I say speaking, I don't just mean simply communicating, but communicating what is truly on my heart and accurately putting that into words so the hearer (or reader) will comprehend in the same manner that I intended. For example, I really hate confrontation and debates, not because I'm afraid of what the other person will say or if they'll come out mad at me - but because anytime I need to speak under any amount of pressure, my words come out like I just came home from getting my teeth pulled at the dentist.

So now we enter into our "Partnership Development" (the time of working to build the team that will engage with us in our ministry through their prayer and financial support) and this time in our calling involves a LOT of speaking. For the next two weeks at Equip, we will be learning about many aspects of Wycliffe, but our main focus is to become "equipped" to build our team.

We have learned much about how Paul was supported by the Church body, just how we will be. We have learned about His calling for believers to engage with us in our ministry. And we have learned about the Biblical model of sending missionaries. But all in all, it will come to the point very soon that I will need to face one more of my greatest insecurities and accurately portray the what, where, when, why, and how of our ministry.

I'm reminded that Moses was called by God - to speak - he specifically struggled in that area as well (some scholars believe he had a stutter). But day by day, step by step God used him to accurately communicate many messages to many different people.

While I am weak in many areas, I know that the Lord has prepared us for what is ahead. Nothing He does ever returns void. I'm reminded in Philippians 1:6 that "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus". He started all this, not us. So we can confidently depend on Him, not us. So even if I stumble over my words and say everything wrong, I can still trust Him to finish what He started. And that will be good.