Growing up I had the opportunity to go on a few short term missions trips with my mother and the youth group. These took me to places such as the Ukraine when I was 11, and New Orleans after hurricane Katrina in high school. During these trips I was able to serve in varying capacities, and I learned much, but the idea of spending more than a week or two in another part of the world was completely foreign to me.
Perhaps the best way that I can explain, is by saying that in my mind there were two types of people. There were those of us, (including me) who supported missionaries financially and with prayer support, and occasionally we would go and help them build something or put on a camp. Then there were "those people" who are full time missionaries; in my mind they were a super special type of people that were set apart from everyone else. The idea of me becoming one of "those people" never even crossed my mind.
And then Carolyn and I went to SIL-UND and I had the opportunity of spending several weeks talking and living alongside normal people who also happened to be missionaries serving in all parts of the world. Suddenly this mythical divide which I had previously erected was blown to smithereens. Over the course of several weeks, my thought process in regards to missionaries progressed from missionaries being "those people," to other people just like me who are simply pursuing God with their whole heart overseas. The next step was the faint idea, or perhaps more accurately, a guiding by the Holy Spirit, that I could serve as a missionary. Why not? Next my thoughts and prayers progressed from an idea, to wondering if the Lord wanted Carolyn and I to consider applying to become missionaries. Lastly, my thoughts went from "maybe we should apply" to "we are going to apply." It is difficult to explain the confidence that Carolyn and I have had in this decision without simply saying the the Holy Spirit has given us an overwhelming peace about it.
Leading up to SIL-UND, I had been observing my own internal thought processes that I was not able to ascertain. First, I observed that I felt an inner readiness to go where God would direct. I wasn’t sure to where or to what, but I felt restless. This feeling was unexplainable - after all I had just started a new job and just gotten married, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more ahead. Second, I noticed within myself a desire to travel; it was a distinct feeling though. It was not the desire to see new places, go on an adventure, explore, or get away from life for a little while. I wanted to work towards a purpose beyond myself; I wanted to go with the purpose God had in mind. And a third unusual thought I noticed, or more accurately didn’t notice, occurred this summer at SIL. When Carolyn and I began talking about what it would look like to become missionaries, I wasn’t freaked out. I feel like according to worldly wisdom the idea of not renewing a lease on our appartment, selling our furniture and other possessions, and more or less condensing our lives to a suitcase or two should completely freak anyone out. But, not with the peace of the Holy Spirit. I felt nothing but peace.
So with all that in mind, Carolyn and I meet with a recruiter from Wycliffe as an act of obedience after we decided to follow the Lord's leading. We are continuing to listen to the Lord as we pursue and worship him daily. We are preparing and dreaming of the future, but we are also fully living in the here and now as this is where God has placed us for the time being.
No comments:
Post a Comment