About a year ago, Dan wrote a post about how we would need to go back to the status of “baby”. He talked about how we’d be entering a culture in which we would need to learn how to do all the basics in life like getting food, riding a bus, paying our rent, and so on. Even though all of these things we would be experts at doing in our own culture, we would need to totally learn everything new upon moving into a new culture. We may be adults physically, but socially, culturally, and linguistically we would be total infants.
Well, we are now three months into our new culture, and it’s confirmed we certainly are “babies”. Although we’ve learned many things such as where to buy food, how to pay our rent, which tram to take, and how to interact with strangers who talk to us on the street. One challenge is that we don’t look anything like babies. So while we understand and have accepted that there is always more for us to learn in this new culture, we’ve also needed to learn that often others’ expectations of us are much higher than we are capable of meeting.
We have made some progress though; we’ve learned most lines swing to the right, people expect to pass on the left on a sidewalk (even though they drive on the right), it’s polite to say the equivalent of “bon appetite” before a meal, and that it’s expected that pregnancy is counted in months instead of weeks.
Communication is one example, we’re still in the very beginning stages, so we are still generally pretty clueless when people walk up and try talk with us. When it’s a person trying to sell us something on the street, we can typically pick up on body language pretty easily. So that’s not too much of a challenge for us to understand and respond to. But when it’s a nurse verbally giving us the results of a recent blood test, that’s a bit more of a challenge.
A simple example of something we’ve needed to learn (and are still learning) is how to walk into a room in a socially appropriate way. In our home culture, this was never a second thought, we would just do what came natural. That was never something we needed to be taught, we just picked it up. Similarly, this isn’t something someone teaches you, it’s just something you need to observe and copy.
For example, when we walk into a room with all Deaf, it’s important that we greet each person individually and be prepared to tell a story. If there’s a large room filled with people, then be prepared for standing and chatting for a while until you’ve had an exchange with each person. If you arrive late for an event, make sure when it’s over you greet everyone you missed earlier. Also, if you pass a Deaf person on the street, it’s expected that you stop and chat for a little. Rushing past and only waving hello would be very rude, at the very least explain why you’re in a hurry.
This is different however in the hearing culture. Often women will exchange kisses on the cheek and men will shake hands upon entering a new group, but if there’s a room filled with many people there is not an expectation that you greet each one and have a brief conversation before settling in.
These two cultures are the main ones we have entered into. While some might ask us, “Why is it necessary to adapt to little details such as cheek kissing and appropriate greetings?” It’s all a part of fully entering into the world of those the Lord has called to. In everything we do we want to draw people in, not turn them away. That involves taking the time required to adopt the culture. Jesus did the same when he came to earth, he took on the culture and language and entered into the social system. He didn’t create a separation by saying, “well, where I come from we do it differently!” As Paul says, in 1 Cor 9:22, “I have become all things to all people” he demonstrates the sensitivity to the way others see the world, and the way that Jesus calls us to love through the demonstration of our lives. So while we often feel foolish for misunderstanding, or accidentally saying something that sounds strange, it’s all part of our learning and growth in this calling by becoming babies.
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